Objectively funny: Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness

It is rare to find an objectivist minded character on TV.  Ron Swanson, is the Director of the Parks and Recreation for Pawnee, Indiana is such a man.  NBS’s sitcom Parks and Recreation is a mockumentary set in a small town civic bureaucracy headed by a cranky, anti-government libertarian named Ron Swanson, played by actor Nick Offerman.

According to Ron’s bio on the City of Pawnee website: “Ron enjoys woodworking, breakfast meats, and the works of Ayn Rand.”

Nick Offerman plays Ron with ironic relish at the comedic situation of a man battling government from within.  The show is quirky and fun, is smart and has warmth to it.

Below are some classic Ron Swanson quotes:

  • “I have been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It’s a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include: Capitalism, God’s way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. Crying, acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage. Poise. Property rights. Fish, for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”
  • “When I walked in this morning I saw that the flag was at half mast, I though, ‘All right, another bureaucrat ate it!’”
  • (On fishing) “It’s relaxing like yoga, except I still get to kill something.”
  • “It’s never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teet until they have sore, chapped nipples. I’m gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine year old.”
  • “I’ve been quite open about this around the office: I don’t want this parks department to build any parks, because I don’t believe in government. I think that all government is a waste of taxpayer money. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely for profit by corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. I would rather work for Chuck E. Cheese.”
  • “I got my first job when I was 9. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.”

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