Tim Tebow: Christian Taliban

Superstar NFL quarterback Tim Tebow looks like an All-American guy, but he has more in common with the Taliban than with our Founding Fathers.

Tebow has made a public spectacle of his religiosity.  Genuflecting on the field in a move that has become known as “Tebowing“. Filming a documentary about his biblical indoctrination as a home-schooled boy by his missionary parents. Proselytizing bible verses in his eye-black. Leading prayers on the field.  Tebow has pushed his personal faith into the public discourse.

Tim Tebow seems like a nice guy. Seems to be a very positive, generous, caring man. A positive role model for the kids of today.  He credits the Bible for informing his morality and defining his clean lifestyle. But as he is someone who holds the bible as the literal and true word of god, there is a dark side that we do not hear about.   Tim publicly espouses the biblical virtues of kindness and forgiveness, but he must also be harboring the dark twisted parts of the bible underneath.

Tim Tebow follows ALL of the bible, and regards it as the literal word and law of God.  And, like the Taliban, he wants God’s law to be human law (Sharia!).

The Faith of Tim Tebow:

  • The Holy Bible is a perfect treasure of divine instruction. Therefore all Scripture is totally true and trustworthy.
  • Judeo-Christian values are the source and support of our rights and freedoms
  • All Christians are under obligation to seek to make the will of Christ supreme in our own lives and in human society.
  • All humans are sinners, regardless of good deeds or saintly acts. Only accepting Tebow’s faith will keep them from eternal damnation.
  • Hell is a real and literal place. The unrighteous will be consigned to Hell, the place of everlasting punishment.
  • Non-biblical philosophies, including secular humanism, are propagated by Satan.
  • Evolution is false; Creationism should be taught in public schools.
  • Adam and Eve are the parents of all humanity.
  • God’s plan for marriage and sexual intimacy – one man, and one woman, for life. Homosexuality is not a “valid alternative lifestyle.” The Bible condemns it as sin.
  • Homosexuality is a sin, but it can be forgiven if the homosexual is “cured”.
  • A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband
  • Procreation is a gift from God, a precious trust reserved for marriage.
  • Abortion is a sin, the murder of a being created in God’s image, and should be illegal.
  • Genetic manipulation, cloning, and embryonic stem cell research violate the sanctity of human life, and should be forbidden.
  • Christians should oppose all forms of sexual immorality, including adultery, homosexuality, and pornography.
  • Pornography is a sin, is dangerous, and is a major contributor to deviant sexual behavior.

Plus Tim believes all the absurd mythological tales from the bible of talking donkeys, burning shrubs, and murderous she-bears!

The press has given Tim an open mic to opine on abortion, virtue, and piety.  When will reporters ask Tim to share his views on gay marriage, the subservience of women, the power of the devil, were the dinosaurs too big for the Ark, or the age of the planet?

His overt Christianity has resounded with the American public, most of whom claim to be Christian.  The truth is that Tim Tebow’s medieval, fundamentalist, demon fearing, tongues speaking, Christ riding a dinosaur, beliefs are the antithesis of what most Americans believe. In fact, Tim Tebow thinks YOU (and most Americans) are going to Hell.

Tim was home-schooled, forced to memorize bible passages, and indoctrinated with fundamentalist ideology like a Wahhabi boy in a madrasas.  If a guy in a robe “Tebowed” in the aisle of a plane, he would get tackled by an air marshal.  He shares the same fervor and faith as women’s clinic bombers and the God Hates Fags people.

Why should we treat Tim Tebow any different than any other radical fundamentalist?

11 comments to Tim Tebow: Christian Taliban

  • SandyLester

    When Tebow starts beheading people, or setting them on fire, or flying planes into buildings then get back to me, stop flapping your gums

  • Larry Ballard

    Atheists are a bunch of cowards who hate their fathers. It would be better for the rest of us if you stop bashing religion ( Christians ) and mind your own business. It’s a free country, even for a bunch of whining clowns. Happy New Year.

  • Robbins Mitchell

    So now ye who worship the fecest between your ears sre even going to presume to say what Tim Tebow purports to believe?…or rather what you want to pretend he believes….so you can burn down the straw man you built yourself….you don’t even know where that ‘earth is only 6000 yrs old’ crap comes from do you?…ever hear of Bishop Ussher?…google it….I’ve been a practicing Christian for quite a few years…and personally I don’t know anyone who is familiar with Old Testament chronology who subscribes to that ‘earth is only 6000 yrs old’ crap….you just delude yourselves into thinking we do so you can pose as ‘enlightened’ intellects…when the truth is you lack the mentality to understand the fundamental metaphysical nature of this space-time continuum we call our ‘universe’…so take your infantile jealousy of Tim Tebow back to Lower Classville where it belongs….I once debated a member of the local American Athiests chapter here in Houston,wherein I disproved the non-existence of the Almighty…so you are waaaay behind the curve,dude….once that premise is established,your supposition that our existence is due to mere blind chance or some sort of cosmic accident becomes pablum for babies

  • Rick H.

    You are a kook. Keep slinging your crap though, makes people sharing your opinion look like imbeciles.

  • If you can’t be famous and do good stuff (like Tim Tebow) then become infamous by bashing a famous person. Stop hatin’ on my man!

  • Rick – You have it wrong. A young man has achieved his dream of playing professional football. He also is a man of faith. Are you so such a pathetic progresive liberal athiest that you hate your own miserable existence so much that you have to attack like that? The problem in this country is jerk offs like you. I guess you are in favor of abortion as birth control? I guess you are in favor of 40% of African American women in NYC have had abortions. Wait a minute! It wasn’t their faults. It was the richest one percent that made them kill their unborn children. It was the racisim of Republicans that made them do it. Then again maybe it was the union run public schools that had a role in all those abortions. Maybe it was because of their values and value of life has been destroyed by government destroying the tradional nuclear family?

  • Robert Hagedorn

    Challenge yourself. Google First Scandal.

  • Leon

    Comment I left on a similar blog (http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2012/01/14/if-tim-tebow-were-muslim/) also applies here.

    American society celebrates a christian who constantly reminds us of his faith. We suspect a mixed reaction for an islamic proselytizer. And we can be certain of a rain of hate towards an athlete who never failed to mention, “I’m happy we won, and I’m still glad there’s no god!”

    So, what does our ideal world look like? The islamic fanatic and the christian fanatic ought to be regarded as equally deranged and dangerous. Tim Tebow reminds us with every chance that he considers us evil, that he accepts the bible as truth–and therefore he wishes death and suffering for us. Every one of his disgusting displays ought to be met with condemnation.

    If you think there’s a difference between Tebow and a Taliban witchdoctor preaching jihad, is it because of the content of his character or the color of his skin?

  • serqus

    If all those points are in fact the tenets of Tebow’s faith, heck, how do I sign up?

  • Michael F

    Phew, and I thought it was just the religious who were sanctimonious, pompous, self righteous, pontificating, blind, hateful, narrow-minded, ignorant, hypocrites! Glad to see the atheists are just the same as the evil they condemn.

    To coin a phrase, “If you think there’s a difference between the Christian and an Atheist preaching hatred, is it because of the content of his character or the state of his “soul”?

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